I’ve heard it said that confession is good for the soul….
For the past several years I have indulged in a guilty pleasure. It’s time to let the secret out: I enjoy watching the reality TV show - Married at First Sight.
The title pretty much explains the premise of the drama (and trust me, there is plenty of drama). Each season, complete strangers meet for the first time on the day of their wedding. As a matter of fact, the bride and groom meet for the very first time standing before friends and family as they prepare to say, “I do.”
After the ceremony, the four or five couples depart on a honeymoon before returning home to set up house. For eight weeks, camera crews and the show’s producers follow them around filming their interactions. (I am grateful that they have stopped showing the bride and groom brushing their teeth together. This part had to be scripted. This is something Alaine and I have never done.) At the end of the two months, the couples reach “Decision Day”. They sit down with the three “experts” who matched them and announce whether they want to stay married, or get a divorce. Let’s just say that the track record of the experts leaves much to be desired. The success rate is pretty horrible, and has been getting worse.
Why do I like the show? It’s because, deep down, I have romantic streak. I knew very early on that Alaine was the girl I wanted to marry. How early? By the end of the second date. Meanwhile she is still waiting for Mr. Right to show up, but until then, I’ll do. (It’s an old joke of ours.)
While I may have a romantic streak, let me get something off my chest. I hate the term “soulmate”. There is no such beast, not in my book. Helpmate is my preferred description for spouses.
I know what you might be thinking about my guilty pleasure. “Brian, why are you wasting your time on such a ridiculous television show?” Trust me, I’ve asked myself that question a time or two.
The premise behind Married at First Sight isn’t as bizarre as we might think. Does the term “Mail-Order Bride” ring any bells with you. Speaking of which, back in 2005, I did something very out of character for me. I gently twisted Alaine’s arm into going to the movies with me. I wanted to see Sweetland, and I wanted her beside me when I did.
Here is how the film’s Wikipedia page describes the plot:
In the aftermath of World War I, Inge Altenberg, an orphan from Snåsa, Norway, arrives in America to a very cold reception. The parents of immigrant farmer Olaf Torvik remain in Norway, where they met her. Dialogue reveals that the four of them have worked out an agreement that allowed her to emigrate to America for the purpose of marrying Olaf. The Minnesota farming village of Audubon, in which her intended husband lives, is horrified to learn that she is a German immigrant with no papers. To make matters worse, she has accidentally obtained membership papers for the American Socialist Party. Scandalized, both the town's Lutheran minister and the county clerk refuse to marry them.
When events lead them to openly cohabit with each other, they find themselves ostracized by the entire town. They are then forced to harvest their crop completely by hand and alone. This particular harvest season brings not only work, but love as well.
If this whet’s your appetite, here’s a trailer to the film:
Back to Married at First Sight. Like I said, few couples remain together after Decision Day. Even fewer are still married today. If it were up to me, I would make any prospective participant watch each and every episode of all the past seasons. Hopefully, they would realize just how stacked the odds are against them, and could see the mistakes that the previous couples made.
For me, one of the saddest parts of these marriages is that the couples just can’t seem to come to grips with the fact that we all are damaged goods. They seem surprised when their husband or wife fails to meet their expectations, or says something hurtful. I can’t imagine any marriage (or close friendship, for that matter) lasting for any length of time without ongoing, even daily, repentance and forgiveness. (Blame this on my Lutheran DNA.) I’m blessed to have found a farmer’s daughter who gets this. Speaking of which, Happy Birthday (almost) - sweetheart. You mean the world to me.
Alaine isn’t perfect. And I’m not even close. There are times when we annoy and infuriate one another. Alaine can be a little feisty . And I tend to retreat to my “box” when I come home at night. Does this surprise you, coming from a pastor and his wife. It shouldn’t. I struggle mightily to practice what I preach.
I’m glad that I’ve finally shared my guilty pleasure. Confession is very good for the soul.
So on my way home from work today I heard something about the TV having a big deal on this. It was on WCCO 830.
That’s all I got.
Like my Dad would say “ See you in Church “ 🙏